Quarantine Convenience and the Pursuit to Unplug

Day 68 of lock down in Los Angeles, California. As a citizen of the world I have been living through the unique experience of a global pandemic called Covid 19. Also living in the digital era, it’s been fascinating to watch the pendulum swing from such dramatic reactions. I try to be a balanced person. I am open to conspiracy theories. I grew up in western Pennsylvania, a region of the US that hasn’t trusted the government since 1791. Personally though, I’ve studied psychology. Social Psychology is one of my favorites. I try to take a healthy and humble approach to my ability to inform myself in a matrix of propaganda, click bait, and marketing agendas.

During Lock Down in America I have readily checked the numbers, fascinated by the experience of it all. I have been inspired by the health personnel on the front lines. I have empathized with the essential workers working long hours to feed the community as I myself sit comfortably from my home. Being the personality type that I am, and stone sober at nearly 6 months pregnant, I have taken this time to be extremely productive. But then Plandemic happened. My own family members and friends have taken to facebook to blast off about their “wokeness” and refusal to wear mind control masks in public. Meanwhile I’m over here on snopes. Snopes can still be trusted right?? I’m somewhat confused on the mask thing. I personally have the luxury of not having to go out to work right now. When I wear a mask, it’s super brief to go into a store. I carry one when I’m walking outside but I don’t wear it unless I’m going to be close to someone. There are some very convincing videos from articulate doctors and nurses telling me my immune system is now fucked and I’m sucking in carbon dioxide with the mask. However, there are obvious benefits to not directly breathing in what could be aerosol Coronavirus droplets at the grocery store especially since so many people suck at social distancing.

The Riot Grrrl in me enjoys questioning the man, the machine. I see memes that say “If the mask works, why can’t we work? If the mask doesn’t work, then why wear them? Another good point I think as I scroll through facebook. Lil ole me over here though, doesn’t have so much at stake with my decision making. I think about the difficulty politicians and health officials face right now. They are either entirely responsible for fucking our economy or they have saved hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of lives…we don’t know which one yet. I also think about the difficulty in making one size fits all decisions for society. The nature of governing society requires catering to the weakest links. You know which links I’m talking about, the ones that seem not far removed from Neanderthals. The reality is that many people in society don’t wash their hands before they eat or even after going to the bathroom. I’m over here judging accordingly. I proudly create contamination zones in my home, sanitizing like a true Virgo, Queen of the Germ Phobes, with a small fortune of cleaning products inherited from my late Virgo Grandmother.

For all the businesses that have perished and the people who have lost their jobs, my heart goes out. My heart goes out even more though for the families that have lost loved ones to this virus. A beloved colleague of my sister’s recently passed away from Covid 19. She was a mother in her early 40s. Her profession as a nurse obviously put her at a higher risk to be exposed. One of my family member’s immediate response to this sad news in the family thread was, “did she really die of Covid 19 or did they just put that on the death certificate?” It was disappointing but unfortunately this family member has been swept away in to the matrix. She even thinks Armageddon is coming. Her mind is demonstrating attachment. Her ego has become wrapped up in the identity of “the enlightened,” those that supposedly see more than the rest of us.

Although I had unfollowed this person’s facebook a long time ago, I too had found my mind caught up in the currents of the matrix. Going online daily I had been exposing myself to impending doom from this virus to impending doom from incompetent politicians in what will most like be another American shit show election. Sure there are plenty of positive things online, kitten videos, inspirational ideas, and a vast array of genius in many forms. Have you seen Kazuhisa Uekusa the usually naked guy with the table cloth tricks? Genius! But I haven’t been going online in a grounded, focused fashion. I haven’t been practicing mindfulness and intention with my online and social media time. Everything is energy. The energy that I expend when I mindlessly scroll through facebook and other click bait pretend news sources is an extension of me. As I scrolled down the news feed and articles that seem to be telling the same almost half story for a week, I was aware of my discontentment. Yet I kept scrolling. I will admit to even being so human that I sometimes would log onto facebook, scroll for a few, close it down, just to log back on a minute or so later. My God, have I really sold my soul to Mark Zuckerberg and other big data companies for basically free??

I am proud to say that as of today, I have not been on facebook, Instagram or the news for 5 whole days. A part of me kinda feels like a goon for expecting some sort of a medal for this measly accomplishment. Many of us however, would agree that it is an accomplishment in it’s own way. In the ever blooming blossom of human consciousness, we find ourselves getting attached, losing mindfulness. Physically I feel better than I have in a while. I have been more productive and more focused. Part of me feels like I am missing out on some of the more-feel-good things that may be happening. I’ll probably be on social media tomorrow, and set certain times of the week for matrix exploration. But for now, I have found another dimension of conscious awareness, bigger than the social media reward feedback loop and the need to fill the void of uncertainty. I am mindful of that void. The void is now presence. And because power is in presence, I feel more equipped to deal with this crazy world we live in; and to be kind. Whatever your thoughts are on this position society has found itself in, don’t forget to be kind. And also trust in our ability to overcome these challenges, any challenges.

FJR